I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
