Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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