next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
