Are we in a gay sports bar?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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