fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
