Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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