I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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