I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
and she was petting her beer can
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
that may or may not have been my penis.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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