we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
