All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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