i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
