Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize