True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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