Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
