He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize