WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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