I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
