Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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