Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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