I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize