Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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