Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize