we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
