dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
