Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
