I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
