Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
