Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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