I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
