Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
