I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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