is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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