So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
