I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize