My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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