He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
