She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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