Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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