The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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