Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
