champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize