where am i from again
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
MIDGETS
????
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
