escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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