i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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