ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
cat food counts as protein by the way
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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