Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize