I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
