why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
