Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
