my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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