We won't sleep together?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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