I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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