Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
