Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
