I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
