K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize