if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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