Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
