Your mouth is God's brothel.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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