dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
