Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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