WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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