There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she was so not down for the gang bang
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize