So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
