So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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