Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
