Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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