Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
