i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
