erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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